VOX Box: Jon Osterman 1
Characters * Jon Osterman * Dan Dreiberg * Laurie Juspeczyk Location * New York City, NY / The Moon * October 12th 1987, 0927 Universal Time VOX Archive * Jon Osterman: Hello, Laurie. * Laurie Juspeczyk: gasp Jon! footsteps, pause, sigh Jesus Christ, Jon... You startled me... They said you went to Mars. * Jon Osterman: The Moon actually... in this reality. Interesting that they thought I was on Mars. * Laurie Juspeczyk: And now you're back. * Jon Osterman: I am neither back nor am I completely away. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jon, I- * Jon Osterman: You want to speak with me, I know. That is why I am here. * Laurie Juspeczyk: God, yes... I was just thinking- How did you know? I need to see you and you... you just appear, just like that? It's so... sigh * Jon Osterman: Deus Ex Machina? "The God Outside the Machine?" Yes. I suppose it is. Rules are different for me, though. Please, Laurie, try to understand. An hour into my future, we're on the Moon, talking. I thought I would collect you to make this easier. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Wait... We're talking... on the Moon? * Dan Dreiberg: muffled: Laurie, who are you-? opens, footsteps talking to? Uh... Hi, Jon. * Jon Osterman: Hello, Dan. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jon? Why the Moon? * Jon Osterman: Because that is where I am and it is where our conversation will take place. In this conversation, you are going to attempt to convince me to save the world, Laurie. * Dan Dreiberg: Laurie, don't. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Dan, trust me. I have to- crackle, intrinsic snap * ASSET, NEW LOCATION: The Moon * Jon Osterman: crackle, intrinsic snap, footsteps There... Beautiful, isn't it? * Laurie Juspeczyk: gasp, staggering footsteps weakly: Jon-'' * '''Jon Osterman:' crackle, intrinsic whoosh, relieved gasp, heavy breathing, pause Forgive me. These things sometimes slip my mind. footsteps It won't happen again... * Laurie Juspeczyk: breathing, staggered footsteps, pause, sigh That's comforting... footsteps, retching, scattered splash * Jon Osterman: Laurie, are you alright? * Laurie Juspeczyk: Oh my God, Jon! No! I'm puking, Jon... like I always puke when you hurl my atoms through time and space or whatever it is you do! pause, focused breathing, pause, footsteps What am I breathing exactly? smacking It tastes funny... * Jon Osterman: Mostly trace amounts of argon, helium, neon, sodium, and potassium. * Laurie Juspeczyk: I did not hear "oxygen" in there... * Jon Osterman: I modified your lungs. It was the easier solution than to introduce a suitable atmosphere on the Moon without- * Laurie Juspeczyk: gasp I'm on the Moon! * Jon Osterman: So you are, Laurie. Now is a good time for us to have a conversation. footsteps In it, you and I debate Earth's destiny. * Laurie Juspeczyk: footsteps Jon, please don't... I'm on the Moon for hell's sake. Don't also start layering on this whole predestination expletive too. I can't handle it. * Jon Osterman: Why does my perception of time distress you? footsteps * Laurie Juspeczyk: Why ask? Don't you already know the expletive answer, Jon?! footsteps This whole thing is stupid. Stupid! Why bother? * Jon Osterman: Everything is preordained, even my responses. footsteps * Laurie Juspeczyk: scoff Some use you are, Jon... You have all this power and you're what? A puppet on strings? * Jon Osterman: We are all puppets, Laurie. I am just a puppet who can see the strings. footsteps on glass Follow me, Laurie. We will continue our conversation on the balcony. You can see Mons Huygens, the Moon's tallest mountain, from there. footsteps on glass, pause Laurie is something wrong? Why are you standing there? * Laurie Juspeczyk: What happens if we don't go up there? What happens if I screw it all and stay right here, Jon? bare footsteps on glass Jon? footsteps on glass Didn't you here me?! bare footsteps on glass Jon, don't walk away from me... Jon?! footsteps on glass Jon, I'm talking to you! on glass Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you. on glass I thought you wanted to talk. gasp Oh, wow... look at that... * Jon Osterman: I do want to talk... this is where we have our conversation. It begins when you surprise me with the information that you and Dan are sleeping together. * Laurie Juspeczyk: gasp You know? * Jon Osterman: No. Not yet, but in a few moments you are going to tell me. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jesus, Jon! Aaaaaaagh! Why?! Why do you do this to me? When you get like this, I can't stand to look at you much less talk about- What the hell are we supposed to be talking about anyway? * Jon Osterman: Destiny of Earth. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Right... That... sigh Why bother? Why debate when you already know the outcome, Jon? Why?! * Jon Osterman: Because... * Laurie Juspeczyk: Because that's how it happens? I know. I know... sigh And what if you're wrong? * Jon Osterman: About? * Laurie Juspeczyk: Everything! Anything! Something! groan, dry chuckle, pause Look, I don't want to fight. I'm sorry I am so edgy... chuckle I guess I've always kinda been edgy with you, haven't I? Well, for once I'm not. Dan... Dan brings out something else in me. He's more receptive. No offense, Jon... but you are the hardest guy to talk to... and I just wanted to connect. That is why I did it. It was wrong... Maybe. But, it was a lot more right than wrong. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry that I slept with Dan. * Jon Osterman: What? pause You... You slept with Dan? * Laurie Juspeczyk: gasp You just said that you already knew about that. You said- * Jon Osterman: footsteps I said often that you were my only remaining link to humanity, Laurie. You knew that. Why would I save the world if I no longer have any stake in it? When you left me, I left Earth. Does that not show you that I care? * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jon! Don't be ridiculous! The world's more important than one silly relationship! * Jon Osterman: Not to me... My empty gray world here, now means more to me than your blue one. Here, allow me to show you. * Laurie Juspeczyk: N-n-no! I have had enough puking. No more teleporting, Jon! * Jon Osterman: As you wish. There are other methods. crackle, rumbling, glass clinking, loud rumbling * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jon... This thing... Your... clockwork palace... it's flying! Are you doing this, Jon?! If so, stop it! No more clowning around! * Jon Osterman: Laurie, trust me. I fully understand and appreciate the severity of our circumstances and the... gravity of the situation. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Did you just "pun", Jon? sigh I can't handle this... I need a drink. on glass, clatter What is this? * Jon Osterman: What would you like in that bottle? * Laurie Juspeczyk: Water... Just water. * Jon Osterman: crackle, finger tapping glass As you wish. * Laurie Juspeczyk: clinking, liquid sloshing, gulp, gulp, gulp Can't you just tell me how this ends and save us the trouble? * Jon Osterman: pause It ends with you in tears. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Tears? So you don't come back to Earth. * Jon Osterman: At some point, yes... When the streets are filled with death. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jon, please. You have to stop this. Everyone will die. * Jon Osterman: In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon. footsteps on glass Just look around you. The Moon gets along perfectly well without so much as a microorganism. So tell me... how would all of this be greatly improved by an oil pipeline? * Laurie Juspeczyk: Jon, that's not fair. You're looking at the cold and cruel nature of humanity. What about all the children? The lovers? The poets? The dreamers? The artists? The goddamn scientists, Jon! What about them? Hell, Jon... What about me? * Jon Osterman: Laurie... * Laurie Juspeczyk: scoff Don't "Laurie" me... This whole discussion is pointless, Jon. Pointless! You will never allow yourself to see miracles. I don't know... Maybe quantum science doesn't allow for the existence of miracles- * Jon Osterman: Miracles are mere probability. Events with astronomical odds of occurring. A complex equation and chance. Mathematical, not beautiful. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Forget it, Jon. Just... Just land this damn thing and let this be over. You can take me back to Earth now. Back with Dan and my mom and... everyone else you want to just let fry down there. chuckle At least I can die knowing that you were wrong, Jon... You said I would be in tears. Well, look at me, Jon... No tears. See? You were wrong about that. You are wrong about a lot more than that, too... You just can't see it. Maybe you're wrong about the streets being filled with death, too. * Jon Osterman: Laurie, you complain, perhaps rightly, that I won't see existence in human terms all while you refuse to consider my perspective. You are letting your emotions control and blind you. You shut out what you're afraid of. * Laurie Juspeczyk: pause I'm not afraid. You want me to see things your way? Go ahead, show me. Do that thing you do. * Jon Osterman: crackle * Laurie Juspeczyk: gasp No... Not... Not him. No! * Jon Osterman: The Comedian... was your father. * Laurie Juspeczyk: No! sob No! No! No! My life is just one big joke! * Jon Osterman: I don't think your life is a joke. * Laurie Juspeczyk: Yeah, well scoff ... I'm sorry if I don't trust your sense of humor. * Jon Osterman: Will you smile if I admit I was wrong? * Laurie Juspeczyk: About what? * Jon Osterman: Miracles... In human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life for generation after generation until finally, your mother loves a man: Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate. And yet, out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from all that chaos is like turning air into gold. A miracle. A beautiful miracle... And so... I was wrong. bare footsteps Now dry your eyes, and let's go home. Trivia and Notes * Debut of Jon Osterman. * In the comics Dr. Manhattan and Laurie went to Mars, not the moon. * VOX Box was inspired by dialog from the Watchmen movie. Links and References * VOX Box: Jon Osterman (1/2) Category:VOX Box Category:Jon Osterman/Appearances Category:Dan Dreiberg/Appearances Category:Laurie Juspeczyk/Appearances Category:Crimebusters/Appearances